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life is too short...sometimes there isn't a tomorrow...and we can never take back what we have done or didn't do...when we hesitate, we take the chance of missing out.
History:
My biological father, and mother split when I was around 2. For unknown reasons he decided NOT to be apart of my life. Growing up I knew very little about him, and where he was. I did know that I had 2 half brothers that were a couple of years older than I am. In fact my mother had a picture of them, and I kept it in a photo album all of these years. I wondered all that time if I would ever know them, if they were anything like me, and if they wanted to know me.
On my 16th birthday I received a card from my bio father. It had 2 pictures in it...one of him on a naval ship, and the other of him on a boat fishing. (both of which I still have in an album). It was his first attempt to reach out...BUT me being 16 and angry, I ignored him. Wanting to punish him for leaving and never caring about my well being. Why give him the satisfaction.
He died around my 23rd birthday....because of my immaturity and my hate for him I never was able to look past how I felt, and have any sort of relationship with him. Answers to questions I had, and memories (good or bad) that we could of had are lost forever. On that day I knew...I could never take back what I DIDN'T do.
After his death I found out that I had 4 siblings, 2 older and 2 younger. I finally found the oldest, and made contact only to find out none of them had any idea who I was. It was a lot to digest....and I didn't talk to him for a few years.
Through facebook I decided to try again, and i actually met one of the four...it was wonderful. I enjoyed hearing about his life, and the Bryan history. But you still leave with a sense of not knowing exactly where you stand.
One of my brothers has been in ICU since Sunday. Without going into detail, it was a touch and go situation...that seems to be getting itself under control. This has brought up the feelings again of wanting to be closer to the family that I don't know. Part of me wants to be there with all of them, and part of me feels like I would be intruding. So I have been praying hard, and getting updates.
I know when he gets better, and gets home I need to get down there and meet him and know about his life. I don't want to miss out.
Moral of the blog?
Don't hesitate...there isn't a guarantee in life...tomorrow may not come. Do today what you keep putting off for tomorrow, even if it is the hardest thing you may ever do.
If you read this...comment below and leave the TOP 5 things on YOUR bucket list!
14 comments:
Remember a bucket list isn't just material things you want to do...but people you want to say something too that you haven't before and accomplishing something that you have no been able to accomplish...
I know you can do it...i have faith.
Okay...
I'll start.
1. I want to learn another language... or two, or three.
2. I want to take my grandma on a vacation - somewhere, anywhere.. just her and I.
3. I want to graduate college.
4. I want to write a book, or at least publish some of my ramblings.
5. I want to go to you know who's funeral. =X Wait...does 5 count? If 5 doesn't count, then I'll have to think of a new one.
I figured that if I am asking of you all...that I should tell you mine. These are just 5 of the many. =)
1. Meet my biological father's family.
2. Hike Pikes Peak
3. Get a tattoo on Angels Wings
4. Sing in front of a crowd.
5. Go back to school and FINISH
# 3 should be OF not ON =X
I can relate to your blog.. I found out about the death of a biological sister through facebook. I wasn't sure whether to attend service or not and when I asked I never received a response so I left it alone.
Anonymous~Did you know her? Do you regret not going? I am sorry that you had to go through that. =(
It's NEVER to late to start reiching for the stars!
1.go skydiving
2.ride in a hot air balloon
3.ride a horse on the beach
4.go to the Kentucky Derby and wear an outreagous hat!
5.volunteer with a childrens organization
Mames~I have done your #2 and I LOVED it. #4 is on my bucket list too!
1. Take my husband on a trip to Holland
2. Write a book
3. Go on a trip with the girls in my family
4. Learn another language
5. Volunteer for a cancer organization
funnyface~i love all of your to do's on your bucket list...especially #3 =)
What would you write your book about?
I think I want to write a murder mystery, but I would also like to write about some of my family (even though I would make it fiction) LOL
Number 6 would be to learn to pay a guitar. :-)
1. visit Greece
2. Learn Sign Language
3. Get my significant other to dance one just one dance with me
4. Go to Vegas just one time is all I need
5. get a Walk for Diabetes started in Wyoming that may start soon :)
Um when you do number 4 invite me! =) And when there is a walk you can count me in!!! =)
Don't think I have any answers but would love to sit and talk with you. Let me know when you are coming this way. My oldest daughter lives near Dallas so we could arrange to get together.
You are always in our prayers.
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