{{Control Freak}}

If you don't have that nagging feeling of wanting to be in control of EVERYTHING...you will not understand. You don't understand how hard it is to not "just let it go". We don't just let it go, we fix it to where we believe it should be. We go OVER and OVER in our minds how we can change what ever has happened, is happening, or will happen. We KNOW that there IS a way to fix what is wrong in the world, and if we have the slightest doubt we can't....we PANIC.

I lay awake at night with thoughts running through my head like a freight train. What If's, If Only's, and I will's. My thought process is this, we learn from our past...if we don't figure out a way to prevent or fix what ever has happened, then history will repeat itself.

I am not completely insane, I know that there are uncontrollable situations..but they are few.

~souls exiting my life; death or lack of interest

~time

~my passion for controlling everything

Everything else...I can control, and if I can't I will figure out away until I die to control it.

We all want to believe that we are superman, especially if you are a woman. It is the mother's job right? To kiss and fix your boo boo's, and make the world right again..giving you a sense of security. Embedded in our brains that this is our constant job...no sick days, no vacation, just a constant state of what next?? When we sleep, we sleep with our capes on. 

When all is right with our world, then I will be at peace.