HE loves EVERYONE

I have recently been obsessed with the issue concerning a father who lost his son fighting in Iraq, burying him...mourning his loss while having the disgusting WBC picketing about homosexuals and the fact that "GOD loves dead soldiers" Not only did his father have to endure this horrible picketing, but now he is ordered to pay the WBC's legal fees that were incurred during a civil suit where the father of the soldier sued WBC for 5 million dollars AND won, only to be overturned by the Fourth Court of Appeals. 

Bill O'Reilly has offered to pay the legal cost..which is a very nice gesture, my only problem??? THIS IS A SOLDIER WHO DIED FOR OUR COUNTRY!!!! The country whom is now turning their (the courts) backs on his family! This shouldn't even be an issue! He shouldn't have to pay these horrible PEOPLE!

Yes we live in America, Yes we have a right to freedom of speech...but at a funeral?? come on! The law tells me to wear my seat belt, tells me that i have to have health insurance, tells me that i have to pay taxes but they can't tell these people that they can't picket a funeral??? Especially the funeral of the very people who are protecting these Idiots rights?? 

We buried my cousin last June (almost a year now). While he didn't die in Iraq, he did serve 2 tours there. We were fortunate to only have very positive support, making what was one of the most horrible days of my life, one of the most beautiful days of my life. There is a group "The Patriot Guard" who met us at the airport when they brought Matt home, and were there when we buried him. Men on "iron horses" letting the American Flag flow behind them showing their pride. They stood tall outside the church were the services were held and the burial ground.  They hugged my Aunt as she mourned and went down the line to thank each and everyone of them, in disbelief that they were there to protect her. I only wish that the father of this fallen soldier would have had the same experience.

While I may not agree with all of the decisions that our Government makes, I love America, and I love the Men and Women AND their family that fight everyday to protect me and my family.

John 15:13 (New International Version)

¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

GED

Ok, Ok so for those who DON'T know me I dropped out of HS when I was a junior. I don't like to call it dropping out, I like to call it "testing out" because that is what I did...I got my GED. I didn't wait YEARS and YEARS. In fact (not to boost myself) but I tested fairly high on all subjects. Yes I could have waited and walked with everyone else in cap and gown to get my diploma, but I didn't I chose to hit the workforce getting 2 jobs and working my ass off from the time I was 15 up until the last few years. I had a lead job with 8-10 employees underneath me at a very large insurance company by the time I was 20. 

My point in all this?? I guess the reason no one has called me for a job is because I listed GED on my resume. StUpId me....guess I shouldn't have told the truth. Nevermind the years of experience I have. It isn't like I am applying to be a surgeon, we are talking answering phones here. I can't tell you how many times I think...how in the hell did YOU get this job?? 

Needless to say, in order to play the game I have taken GED off of my resume, and added the 2 years of college that I have. We will see if it works~

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose your own.  ~Harry S. Truman

critic in the mirror

My biggest critic is the woman staring back at me in the mirror. It isn't that other people do not judge or criticize me, it is that the woman in the mirror is the one that matters most. It is her thoughts of me that cut like a knife, and show me the image of what I am. There are days when the one in the mirror gives me praise and positive reassurance...then there are days where she tears me apart with her sharp tongue and vicious comments. It is because of her I assume that others around me see what she sees (both inside and out).  It is because of her that I question every move, and decision I make. {Which could be a good thing} There are days when I wish she would go away, and then there are days when I know she is the only one that gets me. 

I have been working hard these last months to make her see more of the good in me than the bad. With each glance, I feel we are getting there.

The Man In The Glass

Anonymous

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in you life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

the past

Most people have skeletons in their closet, something that they did or have been through that they don't talk about. We believe if we block it out, it will be as though it never happened. We don't mention it to people in fear of judgment, basing that judgment on how we feel about ourselves. We believe that we have suppressed these feelings so far that they have no affect on us, it was the past...we are over it. Maybe you NEVER get over it, maybe it is ALWAYS suppose to be there. Perhaps it is a lesson learned, not only for yourself but for the ones around you that were affected by your actions.Some have asked for forgiveness from their Highest Power, and wonder later why they have not felt a complete sense of peace. I believe this is because it is a constant reminder to not repeat what has happened.

The darkness of our past haunts us, not only in our dreams...but as we watch our children grow, we pray...we BEG that they make decisions that they will not later have to suffer through. We protect them in order to not have them see or go through the pain. We ALWAYS want them to be better humans than us. 

Lately I have been trying to soul search, finding the reason for the anger I carry. I first assumed it was the father I never knew, but as I have searched deeper, I am finding it is a multitude of actions that I have created along with the actions of others around me. You have to deal with the the world you have created before you can deal with what others have created for you. (you are in control of your actions at ALL times)

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."
- St. Francis de Sales

TV Land

When we were younger, some of our "family time" consisted of watching T.V. together. You know, after dinner and homework. 7pm started us with shows like, Family Matters, Growing Pains, Step-by-Step, Fresh Prince, Wonder Years (just to name a few) that all ended up with some life lesson. All of which my parents could watch comfortably with us without sexual content (to the extreme it is today). 

Now...the ONLY channel I watch with the boys is Disney, Nick, or the Science channel. AND even then it is "iffy" with all of the impotent commercials. I even have to block out the cartoon channel due to "SWIM" at night. Yes, it is adult content cartoons, if you haven't ever seen it...make sure you know what your kids are watching!!!

It is just sad, and irritating. Irritating that our children are being subjected to more and more content at a younger age. I feel like I am on constant patrol to try and keep their innocence. It isn't easy "me against the world" 

 

"Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life" ~ Sophocles

Healthy Relationships

C.M. asked me this question the other day while we were having a discussion. "Have you EVER been in a healthy relationship? Do you know what one is??" As I give him a blank stare and tears roll down my face, I try and think of what a healthy relationship is.....

The answer??? No. I haven't. I don't even know if I really KNOW anyone that has one. Is healthy the same as perfect? Does healthy mean you don't fight? Does it mean you trust 100%? Being in destructive relationships in the past, it is like having to learn how to ride a bicycle all over again. I think that trust is something you earn, not something that is given to you. Is that an unhealthy response?

So tell me, what is your idea of a "healthy" relationship?? Do you think that you have one?? Do men have a different perspective on what a healthy relationship is than women do?

"There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread."~Mother Theresa

Perfect People

I can be judgemental at times, I try not to be. I force myself to sit back, and realize, that maybe these people were raised a certain way or there was something that happened to them in their life to make them behave the way that they do.

Unfortunately, there is one type of person that I still have a problem with....."Little Miss Perfect", you know, SUPER MOM!! Let me clarify....every PTA meeting, the leader of every school function, drives the Lexus subaru looking vehicle, only talks to the teachers or parents with money, the one with the husband that always has the look of "I wish she would just SHUT UP!", she flirts (possibly even touches) the husbands or fathers that are attractive or have money, drives her kids to and from any extra curricular activities but never coaches, the loud mouth (you can hear her voice OVER the screaming of 20 8 yr olds), the one that you will NEVER see me chatting it up with.

I half way feel sorry for her, the need for constant reassurance from the rest of the world must be hard to cope with. (I would be fully sorry for her, if it didn't irritate me so much). 

I looked up center of attention disorder on Google, and this is what it found:

http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/histrionic.html 

hmmm maybe. 

By no means am I perfect, hell I have social anxiety like you wouldn't believe...which is probably why loud mouth and I would never get a long. =X So instead of approaching and letting the unfiltered words of what I think of her blurt out....I flip her off in my head, and am grateful that I am not as screwed up as her.

"The question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I, or the others crazy?"~Albert Einstein